Seeing my value can be one of the hardest things. Why am I valuable and worthy of love? You see, when I base my value on my actions, things get complicated. When I fail or hurt someone, when I mess up and destroy something – what happens to my value if it is all based on my accomplishments? As long as I live as if I have to earn to be loved, there are going to be problems each time I fail and each time I miss the goal. I am far from perfect and if my view of myself was based on this, there would not be much left of my value after my endless mistakes and failures.
If I then would rate my own value on my accomplishments and actions, what would happen to the value of other people? we would all then suddenly get different values depending on those same criteria. The smart and succesful person with the characteristics I like, would become more valuable than the beggar with a heroin addiction.
We claim that all people are worth the same but if we meet someone without a home, it is still so easy to blame it on themselves and look away. If it was your friend or someone in your family sitting there, would you then even hesitate for a second to help? Now why is it that my emotional attachments to friends and family gives them a higher value? They are valuable to me and yes it would be untrue to say that I care as much about the stranger on the street as I do for my dear ones. But perhaps I should, because the value is still the same, right?
Now we had an exercise at the KaosPilot Workshop were we had to save people stuck in a hole because of an earthquake – an imaginary scenario of course. It was interesting how we put different value on the people depending on the information and criteria we decided on. It was as if people’s values suddenly depended on their characteristics, age and jobs – someone had to be saved first!
We tend to do just that, put different value on people depending on their age, job and characteristics – even though we most often argue that we have the same value being humans. Is it not very easy then to give yourself the highest value? To value yourself and you success the most. But watch out on this – as we put different value on people, we play a dangerous game, one that could result in the third world war! As soon as we give yourself the right to put one persons value above someone elses, we primarily elevate ourself as to be able to judge people. Secondly, when you start to grade and degrade people, the step is very small into treating people accordingly; To respect the person that you find valuable and important a little more than others. When we start to treat people differently depending on their supposed value it becomes even easier to mistreat someone as we climb lower on the latter of value. Before we know it we have done just what Hitler did regarding the image of the Jews, but in a very innocent way barely noticeable, perhaps not even to yourself.
I refuse to accept this. I refuse to agree to a world were we all have different value depending on what we achieve or were we are born. Such a way of thinking takes away the human rights and all that I believe in. There must be a source of value that does not come from ourselves. My value can not depend on my actions because then I am already doomed and my value already lost as I will always at some point miss the goal. And when I ask myself why I deserve to be loved, I can not justify it with a single act that I have done in my life. Nothing I have ever done have given me the right to be loved. There is nothing I can do that will guarantee me love. Therefore there must be some other reason to why I have value. If we all agree that we have a value just being humans, there must be something outside of ourselves to creates it. Is it being born that gives you the value? Or what exactly is it?
I believe that there is a God that gives us our value as his creations. I believe that we are created to belong to him. And he gives us a value as humans.
I still find myself sometimes forgetting about my value. I still try to create it for myself by working hard, getting a good CV, a nice apartment, a succesful relationship, clothes, friends, fame and status. I try to create this surrounding and accomplishments that will prove me worth something. The problem is that this has no point at all when it comes to my value. One day when things fall apart (because we all fail some times in life, and things will fall apart) the valuables I have created around me will perish too and I will suddenly lose my “value”. Then what is left of me?
In this way I must realize that all things mentioned above does not really matter in the hunt for value. In fact I will never manage to build myself a value at all. None of the things I gain for myself can ever change my value – it is already there. Therefore I must someday realize in my heart, that it does not matter if I am rich or successful in life as for my value . Still I foolishly hold on to these things as if they were the reason to love me. Note also that these are the weaknesses that makes me think of myself as better than others – my self-created value. If I have succeeded in any of the areas where I have tried to raise value, it is extremely easy to then look down on others who have not. It is as if I write this higher fantom value to myself – in reality changing nothing and only causing bad character.
Let’s face it – this world is not based on the premisses of equal value. How insane it might ever be, looking around me, this world gives people different value (even though we claim not to). We do not live after “all men are created equal” and if we do, we add separate values such as intelligence, creativity, status, job, fame etc. so that people still have different values in the end (why otherwise pay millions for a hat that used to belong to Michael Jackson?), all so that we can feel worth something or even feel better than others. To prove ourselves to ourselves and each other. We do not love others as if they are as valuable as ourselves or our friends.
Now, how could I possibly ever love everyone? That large amount of love could impossibly come from within myself. The reason why I am taking this to its very end is simple: If I would treat people as if they had the same value as I consider myself to have, I would treat them as the most important thing ever existed – with the same love that I have for myself and my dearest ones (that I do consider extremely valuable). To love that unknown beggar as if it was my sister or mother is extremely difficult to not say impossible. I could not do it on my own – not for each person on earth anyway. This is where the greatness of it all comes: God, who gives all the value in the first place, loves everyone to death and beyond. Through him I don’t only get my value but also my love for others as I am, and will always be, incapable on my own.