Personal growth?

How do we measure personal growth?
How do you really know if you’ve become a better person or if you’re just the same old you?

Frankrike

Personal growth seems to me invisible. Something that just happens and is not showing until you face some old challange and notice how you face it so very differently. Or do we? It that a sighn of personal growth or is it just new tactics?

Trying to define the terms I really wonder what growing means. just googeling the terms i found a lot of people with a lot of opinions about personal growth and how to achieve it. According to some, personal growth includes improvement of dealing with situations, emotions and people. It is self-awareness and awareness of people around you.  It could be to be true to oneself or to handle emotions better. It could be to take control of life or to be able to let life take you on a journey. It could be to simply not freak out even though you wish to some times. And depending who you ask it could be a lot more.

I am interested in how you know if you’ve grown or not. And as far as I know you can not measure it. It seams to me that we all need different things to grow, but no matter what you do there is no guarantee that you in fact will.

I have been working hard in my life to face challenges and to continue to learn. Still I faced a challenging situation the other day, receiving what I knew would be bad news. Now I had expected this and I was prepared for it, and still I found myself hurt by it. I felt like I somewhat turned in to a little girl again wanting to hide until it all went away. I had expected myself to handle the situation a lot better. I had decided to face it all in a mature way, not running from it but confronting it. I had expected to be ready to take on the situation. All the effort and all hard work of the past year felt like such a waste. All that energy and hard work and I still felt so hurt.

Now why am I writing about this? Well I think there is something interesting to it. I wonder if we ever really should grow enough to not be able to be hurt. In a way I find myself with a picture of the result of personal growth as never being hurt and finally learning to never let anything get to you. And I believe  this approach to be wrong and  misleading.
Personal growth could not possibly be to always handle every situation with a smile, to always be the bigger person never affected by anything, even though I tend to trick myself into thinking so.

In a way I do think we need emotions to make rational decisions. To be affected means you care. Maybe we need some more broken hearts for the world and less independent “can-do-it-all” people? I believe so. We often try so hard not to care, to never let anything get to us.  It is as if sadness or tears are signs of weakness when maybe from some point of view they should be strengths.

It is as if it’s not allowed to be hurt anymore.

 

UppsalaBeing a better person perhaps does not mean to be a stronger person. Maybe an important part in being truly rational is to be emotional; to care, and to not stop caring just because you face failure.

 

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